Day 40 | Landed in Baltimore

March 29, 2018

By Dr. Kizomba Blog

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LANDED!

Barely made my 2nd flight, me and about 5 other people had to ruuuuuuuuun! That was a serious run, when we made to the gate, the door was already closed, she had to scan our tickets illegally, but we made it.

I had to release the fart that I was holding for a loooooooooooooooooong time, you can imagine my relieved face. Because from one plane to the other one there was barely any time to play with gasses and when I was relaxed I was already inside of a plane. I had to hold it in a whole plane and then wait another plane and WHAT THE FUCK THIS WATER IS COLD, sorry Mi Gente, washing my hands at the airport, hygiene. As soon as I landed, and I had the opportunity, I released it. A good old fart that I saved from Montreal. It was worth the wait.

You know what? Baltimore temperature off the chain!!!

The flight attendant, again from Jamaica, asked me if I was some type of international because she liked my swag, what is wrong with these Jamaican women? She asked what I do, so I showed her the flyer. She said she wanted to come to the party, and I said, girl if you wanna party till 6am, come. I gave her the flyer and she might come dance some kizomba. She was talking to me like I was the only passenger on the plane. But after that I knocked out and woke up in Baltimore. When I woke up, this team is so professional there were people waiting for me at the airport. I received a message from Crystal on behalf of Baltimore Salsa Bachata Congress or like I call it Kizomba-Salsa-Bachata Congress in Baltimore, and she was already waiting for me. “I’m parked outside door 18 lower level international arrivals. Silver VW Jetta” with a congress logo, that’s some professional-looking type of shit.

Yay I am in Baltimore. A gentleman helped me find door 18. I love it here, I see lots of black people, everybody here is black. Wakanda. I saw one guy punching the wall, but he was white, oh well. Oh guess what? I see the police outside, I ain’t going nowhere! I don’t wanna have no altercations nowhere, not even a conversation. Mistake me with someone they want to profile… not today! And I see the majority of the girls, well not all, but the ones I am seeing at the airport, got a lot of boobs and a lot of different hairstyles, and I think they been hitting the McDos a little too much. Not all, but I aint seen a skinny one yet. Aight, I am talking about the airport, ok, don’t be getting all offended now.

Door 17, door 18, where is the Jetta? Oh I see the girl that is gonna pick me up. Crystal is here!

Just arrived at the hotel and today is the first day of day of the baseball season and the Baltimore Orioles are playing. And you know what is so fucking funny? I see a lot of Donald Trump voters with tshirts with latino names on the back. I see Machado #13 he must be a star, aaaaaaaaaaaaal white people have Machado tshirt. I guess I gotta look it up for Machado and Jones #8. I also see Davis #19 and look I see a Oreo cookie babylon, two blacks and one white.

And! I met my brothers Dola and Raj at the hotel lobby. I gotta sit down and wait until 3pm because the rooms are not ready, otherwise they gonna pay for extra rooms and that’s not cool at all, because you don’t wanna pay for extra rooms if the rooms are only open at 3oclock, they have to clean the rooms for last night’s semen. I said it!

I took a picture of the chips I am eating, because they are even making money from the chips. I guess I am in the wrong business. Apparently Miss Utz, chips lady, is married to the beer guy. I dunno who the beer guy is, but I guess Baltimore people are gonna know if they read this motherfucker.